Couch Potato: The greatest college football column nobody reads

For all of you who read Couch Potato last week, I appreciate it, and will personally thank all 12 of you in person one day. But you might want to revisit it and see just how on the money my analysis was. To wit: “Before Texas A&M shit the bed against Mississippi State, I’d have picked them over Auburn without a second thought. Now, I have my doubts because this is a game between two flaky teams.” Texas A&M built a healthy lead then watched it evaporate in the final minutes after Auburn de-flaked and beat them. Michigan State beat Maryland, which is the most messed-up program in the world right now. Favored Army beat Air Force in a close one; Kentucky couldn’t beat Georgia because while politics is fucked up enough that the ones you think will lose manage to win, football is still a grim assessment of which is the better team; West Virginia and Texas was a wildass shoot-em-up between a couple of teams that are pretty good and don’t have a damn thing to lose; “Penn State has been so shitty this year, I don’t know how they’re still ranked No. 14;” and “Can LSU beat Alabama? Shit, no.” and “You know, it was LSU and Ed Orgeron who figured out how to stop Alabama’s offense when nobody else could back when Jalen Hurts was the starting quarterback … Jalen beat them anyway, but it did give a lot of coaches with better players the same idea …” and “I don’t think LSU’s offense is good enough to do enough to beat Alabama. I don’t think they’re good enough to cover 14 points.” If LSU’s offense had been good enough to get a few first downs in the second half so their defense wasn’t exposed to a dinged-up Tua and a Jalen who couldn’t play, they would have had a chance.

So, here is last week’s Coach Potato, and all the other ones, so you can show your friends and say, “All the cool kids read this guy.”