COUCH POTATO COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEK 5: Entertainment abounds if you like watching one team beat the other one like they stole something

No. 18 Virginia at No. 10 Notre Dame, 3:30 p.m., NBC

This is the best game this week. Hard to believe, I know. How did Virginia get ranked No. 18, anyway? They have beaten Pittsburgh, William & Mary, Florida State and Old Dominion which have an accumulative record of 7-8 against Colgate. They all played Colgate or the equivalent every week. Notre Dame, which took Georgia to the wall last week, is an 11-point favorite. You’d have to bet $450 on Notre Dame to win straight up to win $100. That’s a better deal than it appears to be. Notre Dame has nice helmets. They look really cool on TV. That’s the best reason to watch this game.

Clemson at UNC, 3:30 p.m., ABC

Clemson is a 27.5 point favorite over North Carolina, coached by Mac Brown, who is 68 years old in his first year at Chapel Hill, a powerful indication that they couldn’t get anybody else to take the job. Clemson has covered the spread in six of its last seven games. You’d have to bet $1250 to win $100 if Clemson wins straight up. So if you bet $12.5 million you’d win $100,000 right? That’s only $30,000 less than the hush money Stormy Daniels allegedly got because she allegedly slept with an allegedly high-ranking government official and then didn’t stay hushed. So it’s a better deal than that.

Texas Tech at Oklahoma, noon, FOX

The over-under is 71.5. That’s a flock of points until you think, if Oklahoma wins 49-23, you win. Is 49-28 that hard to imagine, even with Texas Tech’s quarterback out for weeks and weeks with a shoulder injury?

Ole Miss at Alabama, 3:30 p.m., CBS

Ole Miss is just awful. But the Rebels beat Arkansas, which is just unbelievably bad, and would probably mop the floor with Tennessee, which goes to show that there are some incredibly bad football teams in the SEC this year. Alabama is not one of them. This will be a bloodbath.

Mississippi State at Auburn, 7 p.m., ESPN

It’s time to start talking about Auburn as being real this season. The Tigers pasted Texas A&M last week, which goes to show that Jimbo Fisher is overpaid. So is Gus Malzahn, but he’s 4-0 right now, and the Tigers are feeling their oats. Mississippi State is coming off a home win over Kentucky, which is showing signs of folding their tent unusually early this year. Auburn should hammer them flat, raising spirits on the Plains ever higher. The Tigers still have to play Florida, LSU, Georgia and Alabama. Do you believe in miracles?